When something life changing happens we often think that things come in threes whether they be good or bad. There is nothing wrong with this thinking but sometimes it gets in the way of rational thought.
on Wednesday evening Margaret took a turn for the worse and I called the ambulance. It was determined that she had a systemic infection (the cause is still unknown) that was shutting down her kidneys and her potassium level was dangerously high. She was placed on Life support and placed in the Medical ICU.
She is doing well now although it was touch and go for a while.
This is where rational thought is needed.
1. The murders were the factor that caused the real emotional confusion.
2. Margaret had been ill since before Christmas.
3. The loss of her leg had nothing to do with the murders.
4. The recent crisis had nothing to do with the murders.
It is so easy to get caught up in the speed that things happen that we can loose sight of the fact that each thing is a thing unto itself and not connected to any other thing that is going on. Yes things happen but there is seldom a connection between them.
Grief is the strongest of the emotions and may be the most crippling if not worked through. It is so easy to get stuck on the anger / guilt stage and to have to live with it the rest of your life.
We need to understand the stages (I have mentioned them before) of grief and to take them as they occur. You may not be out of one stage when the next stage starts so you need to be able to see the transition starting.
If we remember that things are not always connected and separate the emotions that they cause it will not be so confusing or overwhelming.
Love to all,
John
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Dear John,
ReplyDeleteI heard on the news about the horrible tragedy you and your family suffered, and heard about your website. I cannot imagine how you could be feeling. I thank you so much for your comment that things are not so connected as they seem. My beloved husband of 26 years died suddenly last September and though I tried to save him, it was no use. He was dead before he was even conscious of what hit him. On top of that, I have inherited his dying business which provides never-ending stress, and I'm way too young to collect any social security (assuming it will be available then). I have been a homemaker all my life and have no job experience that anyone would expect from a 40-something woman...not that jobs are plentiful around here. On top of that, we have two kids in college to support, and my husband had been involved in a lawsuit that was not his fault, and they are trying to extort a huge sum of money from me which I don't have. I don't even feel God's presence anymore because I'm just so NUMB and weary. All I have that I can depend on is myself and God's word, since He doesn't seem to talk to me face to face. But I DO have God's promises in the Bible. That's the only way I can survive without giving up. And what you said about there being seldom a connection between one thing going on and another...that really helps so much. I have to keep reminding myself about that. God bless you in this difficult journey. Life may be short, but it's so hard. Can't wait for the 2nd Advent of Jesus--how about you?
Love in Christ to you and your family...God bless you all as our wounds close and we hide the scars.