The most difficult thing that I have ever done

I really don't remember the forty minute drive to the hospital; my only thoughts had been about what I had to do now.  How do you tell a woman that she had just lost her oldest daughter and only granddaughter to senseless violence.  Not only was Margaret a woman, mother and grandmother she was also my wife, best friend, my only love and my soul-mate.

I put on the most positive mood that I could and stepped through the door into  Margaret's room and the nurse waited outside the door.  With a big smile I said "Good morning Love, how are you this morning?"

Margaret replied "I am fine but I just had the strangest phone call.  Joan (Remember this name it is important) called and asked how I was and I told her that I was fine and asked how she was and she said "I'm fine but things are really mixed up in the neighborhood this morning" but she sounded like something was wrong and didn't talk long.

I thought that Joan knew what had happened and had been trying to find out if Margaret knew.  I will always be grateful that she didn't say why the neighborhood was mixed up.  As much as I hated it it was my place to tell Margaret what had happened.

I was holding Margaret's hand and telling her that Joan was strange at times and how much I loved her (Margaret not Joan) and she said that she felt that something was wrong.  There is no easy to do this and I said as calmly as I could "Yes Darling something is wrong; Sue and Maggie are dead."

Margaret looked directly into my eyes and said "This is April Fools, tell me that it is April fools day."

I told her that it wasn't April fool day and this was nothing to fool about.  I could never joke about people dying.  Margaret asked me how it had happened and all I could say was "They were both Murdered and Howie had been too."

Margaret shrieked "Oh GOD no, not Sue and Maggie!"
The nurse came into the room and calmly said "I am so sorry, let me give you this" and administered the sedative.

The nurse and I each held one of Margaret's hands and the nurse expressed her sympathy and helped me calm her a little.

After about two minutes of tears Margaret asked what had happened and I told her what I have already told you.  The nurse stayed with us and another nurse joined us and they both were very good at dealing with this kind of shock.  Their presence helped me greatly also.  In about fifteen minutes Margaret drifted off to sleep, the nurses left and I just stood there still holding her hand and feeling completely numb.