It has been one month to the day that it was discovered that my Daughter Sue, her finance Howie, and my Granddaughter Maggie had been murdered. Sue left three boys aged 7 through 13 and my wife of 25 years, Margaret had been in the hospital for over a month.
I have been forcing myself to step through process of grieving just so that I could get the necessary things done. I will describe this stepping process later because it may be of help to others. For the moment I will just say that I could go through the steps in about half an hour and bring myself back to a positive attitude.
Margaret got out of the hospital on Friday afternoon after over two months and I have been busy taking care of her, 10 year old B and son W (44). Since Margaret has been in bed for so long she requires a lot of care like changing dressings and therapy to strengthen her legs and to help her regain her balance. These things have kept me busy over the weekend.
This morning the "Storm Surge" of repressed grieving washed over me in a flood that literally washed me off my feet; although there were things to do I was unable to do them. I realized that the pressure was less as the important things were done and the numbness flooded my soul.
I finally really had the cry that I had needed for so long. This kind of a cry is cleansing and actually cleans undesirable chemicals out of the brain and they can be detected in the tears. What a wonderful thing GOD made when he created us!
I am now again able to see that the way that we face the day is a CHOICE and we can control our attitude and by remaining positive good can be rendered from all things.
God Bless You All,
John
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I know that when you weep, God weeps with you.
ReplyDeleteI pray that God will show you the way through your grief and give you each day exactly what you have need of.