More on the hardedest thing

After Margaret had been asleep for half an hour I went outside to have a smoke break.  I try not to smoke much but I just had to have a break just then.

As I left the room one of the women in the room across the hall called me.  I had met them casually, seeing them every day when I went to visit Margaret.  She said that she had herd Margaret cry out and asked what was wrong.  When I told them the other lady told me that she had lost a cousin to murder many years ago and they had never caught the killer.

I know that murder happens every day but I had never met a survivor before and felt that we were all alone with our feelings and anger.  This lady was the first angel in that God had placed her where I could meet her at my lowest point and learn that we were not alone in the suffering that we were going through.  Here was someone who could really understand.

The conversation that I had with these women was the first step in handling my personal grief.  This is when I realized that there were many people going through the same thing and that opening up to others might help them though the struggle that they were having.  I also realized that by telling what I was going through would Provide me with an outlet that might keep me from going crazy.