Dealing with grief

I have been having computer problems and I am sorry that it has taken me so long to get back to this.

No matter what the cause is, the grieving process takes a general form.

1.  Shock and denial.  The feeling that this can't be happening to me, this is not real, it is all a bad dream.

2.  Anger and questioning.  We have lost something of value and we are angry and then we start to ask "what if I had done this or that." or "why didn't I see this coming."  This questioning can often lead to guilt, "I could or should have done this or that."

3.  Depression.  Even if we do not feel excessive guilt, we experience a feeling of depression for we have lost something of value.

4.  Acceptance of reality.  We realize that the event has taken place and nothing can change it.  At this point the real healing begins to take place.

My sister and I were discussing this on the phone the other day (she lives 1000 miles away) and she told me that where she works the company issues mechanical pencils which are colored black but since she prefers red, she buys her own and when she loses one she feels all of the steps above for a brief time.

We all handle these steps  in our own way but each of us go through the four steps after any loss.  The greater the loss and the more unexpected it is, the stronger the feelings.